Booty Call
by RosalindHawkins
Summary: Puppyshipping (Seto Kaiba x Joey Wheeler): The rules of making booty calls, as told by Kaiba and Joey. Don't go too far, or you'll surely do something you regret. [Warnings: language, implied sexual content, and unapologetic cynicism.]
1. No Lights

**Booty Call Rule #1: No lights**.

Leaving the lights on forces you to acknowledge who and what you're doing, which can be particularly shameful if your preferred booty call is your sworn rival and it's too mortifying to look them in the eye while naked.

It's shameful if the person moving inside you is someone who, in the outside world, talks down to you and treats you like dirt.

It's shameful if the person riding you is someone you wouldn't want to be seen with in public unless you were in the process of kicking their ass at card games.

Either way, neither person wanted to be aware of their partner's identity while in the process of getting their rocks off.

So when one teen walked into the bedroom where the other was already waiting, it was always their job to turn the lights off. Only then did their clothes come off too.

* * *

Kaiba's cellphone vibrated with an incoming call, making it rattle against his metal desk. He picked it up without looking and hit the answer button.

"What is it?"

"I'm waiting for you. When are you coming home?"

Kaiba glanced at his watch.

"Maybe in an hour."

"Fine. I'll wait."

Almost ninety minutes later, Kaiba finally walked into his bedroom in the palatial mansion he called home. There sat Joey on his bed, eyes hollow with weariness, shoes on the floor by the door, jacket draped on the corner arm-chair, lips now parted in anticipation. Kaiba stepped inside, closed the door behind him, and turned off the lights, leaving them in the comforting quietude of darkness.

Kaiba was in the process of undressing as he approached the bed, but before he'd even finished, Joey's hands were on his shoulders, holding him still so the blond could kiss his neck without missing. A sigh escaped Kaiba's lips as he undid his belt and Joey's teeth scraped over his skin.


	2. No Dialogue

**Booty Call Rule #2: No dialogue**.

Talking makes things awkward, and by abstaining from speech, you can continue to pretend that you're with someone else.

Maybe you're pretending that you're sleeping with a beautiful blond, the one that got away.

Maybe you're pretending that you're sleeping with a figment of your imagination, or maybe even yourself, because you don't know anyone that you consider attractive enough or worthy enough of your devotion.

The worst thing you can possibly do is to call out their name in moments of pure ecstasy, when you're at your most vulnerable and least cognitive. Do that, and there's no taking it back.

Make no promises, make no confessions.

* * *

Joey panted noisily with each bounce of the mattress, gripping the sheets with both hands as heat coiled tightly in the pit of his stomach.

"Ohhh... a-ah, fuck."

The occasional impassioned cursing was permitted between them, but Joey had stopped thinking, his mind too numb with euphoria as he came.

"Ka-Kai—mph!"

Seto had reached around and clamped his hand down over Joey's mouth before he could finish his name, so the blond just closed his eyes and moaned into the brunette's palm. When Kaiba finally removed his hand, Joey sank forward into the bed with a sigh.

Seto's warmth at his back was replaced with cool air as the CEO pulled away and leaned back against the pillows at the head of the bed.

"Do that again, and next time I'll spank you until you can't sit, stand, or walk straight. Got it?"

"Got it," Joey muttered as he rolled onto his back, still trying to catch his breath. He'd barely done so when the other man's heel connected with his hip in a painless kick.

"Go on, get out of here."

"Right..." Joey reluctantly slid off the bed and started feeling around the floor for his clothes. He dressed slowly and put at least one of his socks on backwards, but he knew better than to take _too_ long. "I'll see you next month."

"Don't bet on it."

"I will."

"You'll lose."

"No I won't." Joey closed the door behind himself before Kaiba could respond.

 _Totally won that argument._


	3. No Surrenders

**Booty Call Rule #3: No surrenders**.

You must always maintain power in the relationship. Forget to remember this, and before you know it, you've become his bitch.

Don't come every time he calls you, or he'll call you a mutt. More than he already does.

Don't call him too often, or he might think that you need him.

Never let him think that he's needed.

Never let him think that you're anything but self-sufficient.

Even though the call itself is admission enough that you're not truly a robot, that you have needs like any other man.

* * *

Kaiba glared at his cellphone, clenching his hands on the edges of his armrests. His patience was running out, his inane assistant dancing on the last fraying thread of civility Kaiba currently possessed.

"Yes, Irene, your fiancé is cheating on you," he called out suddenly, interrupting the woman's phone call with her sister in the room just outside his office. "I suggest dumping him and pawning the ring by the end of the week."

As Irene started crying on the other side of the wall, Kaiba pressed his fingertips into his temples.

"I really need to get my office soundproofed," he grumbled to himself as he opened the top left drawer of his desk and rummaged around for a bottle of ibuprofen. "At least I don't have to listen to her ridiculous whining for another twenty minutes." He dumped a few pills into his hand and swallowed them dry. As he placed the bottle back in the drawer, his fingers grazed a crinkly foil square. He closed his eyes again, letting his fingers linger there for a few moments as he weighed his options in his mind. Call Joey, or . . . ?

Kaiba gave in and removed the square packet from the drawer, tearing it open to give him access to the nicotine patch inside.

No way was he giving Joey the satisfaction of calling him again so soon.

He didn't _need_ Joey.

And Joey most certainly didn't _need_ him.


	4. No Neediness

**Booty Call Rule #4: No neediness**.

Don't call him more often than is strictly necessary. The only times when you should be the one to call him:

Long stressful work-day.

Dad's too drunk to go home.

Got tipsy at a dinner with potential investors.

Getting rejected by your would-be girlfriend. Again.

Reaching the edge of mental stability.

Needing someone to ground you.

Needing someone to pull you back from the edge.

* * *

 _Ring... ring... ring... The number you have called is currently unavailable_ —

Joey cursed under his breath as his call was declined, then hung up without leaving a message. If he couldn't get in touch with Kaiba, then maybe he could call Yugi and ask to sleepover? But no, he'd slept over at Yugi's last week. Tristan then?

Joey dropped his head into his hands, feeling pathetic. He was so sick of putting up with his dad when he was drunk. He couldn't put up with it anymore. Sometimes he just called Kaiba for a hit because he needed to stay somewhere else for the night, and Kaiba would always leave the hotel room to the blond for the night when they were done. He wondered if Kaiba didn't do it just to remind Joey that he was obscenely wealthy while the blond worked two jobs to make up for the cash his deadbeat dad was always spending on beer.

No, that couldn't be the case. Kaiba didn't _care_ enough about Joey to bother with the effort it would take to humiliate him. Besides, he did that enough when they had sex. Kaiba never said anything, but he didn't have to speak for Joey to feel his scorn.

Besides, Kaiba probably hadn't forgiven him yet for when he'd stolen Seto's stash.


	5. No Affection

**Booty Call Rule #5: No Affection**

You're not supposed to like him. If you like him, outside of sexual attraction, you've picked the wrong person to have as your booty call.

Be prepared for pain.

* * *

Joey was sound asleep as Seto retied his necktie, glancing down at the blond snuggled down under the covers, wrapped tightly in them like a caterpillar in a cocoon. With that metaphor, Seto suddenly had a flashback to a picture book he'd seen once when he was nine.

He couldn't help but sigh as he put his hands in his pockets and watched Joey sleep for a few moments longer. He looked so peaceful in sleep, unlike his usual tired self.

That look of emptiness in the blond's eyes after calling Kaiba after midnight for a meet-up wasn't lost on the brunette, and neither was the look of relief in Joey's eyes when Kaiba would walk into the room, and their eyes would meet for a split second before the lights went out.

Kaiba pitied Joey. He really did. That's why he didn't give him too much of a hard time anymore. When it came right down to it, they were the same in a lot of ways. They were both just trying to do the best with what life had given them.

His hand almost seemed to move on its own as he reached out to ruffle his shaggy blond hair. That was all he intended to do, but before he could stop himself, he was leaning down to kiss Joey's forehead.

One last pat on the head, then Kaiba left to let Joey sleep in peace.

* * *

 **A/N: Btw, these chapters are out of order chronologically. For some chapters, chronology doesn't matter. For others, it should be easy to see the connection.**


	6. No SUI

**Rule #6: No SUI (Sex Under the Influence).**

Never hookup while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

Never make the call

Never answer the call.

* * *

"Where are we going?" Joey only asked because they were far past the Kaiba mansion, and the idea of them going to a hotel was out of the question when they were this far out of the city.

"Master Kaiba is at his summer home in the country this weekend," Roland responded from the driver's seat. "He instructed me to bring you to him there."

Like a master telling his dog to fetch a tennis ball.

Joey didn't speak again for the rest of the drive. He didn't mind going so far away. He'd wanted to escape the real world tonight when he came home to find his father in a fit of drunken anger. Knowing that if he stayed, he'd have hell to pay, Joey'd gotten the hell out of Dodge and called Kaiba without a second thought. It was only after the call that he realized how quick he'd been to run to Kaiba for shelter since his home wasn't safe, and it disgusted him.

He really was a mutt, wasn't he?

The car came to a slow stop, and Joey got out, getting hit by a strong breeze as soon as he stood up. He couldn't see much of the surrounding landscape, since it was well after midnight and pitch black, but they were quite clearly in the middle of nowhere. The building before him was smaller than the mansion where Kaiba lived, and it looked emptier too. Only a couple lights were on inside, and the light was barely shining out through the curtains.

Joey took the keys from Roland, then the other man got into the only other car in sight and drove off. Joey searched the house, calling Kaiba's name, but couldn't find him anywhere. It was only by chance that he looked out the window and saw him outside. Curious, Joey was quiet as he left the house by the back door and walked over to where the brunette was laying on the grass by the edge of a high cliff bordering the ocean. Kaiba's eyes were closed, but his expression was peaceful, and he looked more relaxed than Joey could have ever imagined him. Joey sat beside him on the ground, facing the cliff too.

"I didn't know you owned a house out here."

Joey glanced down at Kaiba after a few moments and saw that his eyes were open now. A shiver ran down the blond's spine.

He knew that look. Those dilated pupils, that slight, humorless smile. It was the same look on Ryou's face when he'd been slipped some special k at a party, and Joey'd had to save his friend from being "escorted" into someone's van, then spent the next few hours helping Ryou home and putting him to bed before anyone else could try to take advantage of him.

Kaiba sat up slowly, but said nothing.

Recognizing that Kaiba was high felt distinctly... disappointing. Joey'd always thought Kaiba to be better than that, even if the brunette's superiority complex had always irked him. Seeing him like this, though, should have made Joey feel smug, but he couldn't even feel that.

Kaiba kissed him, his thin lips warm and soft on Joey's mouth as the blond reciprocated with muted pleasure. Even when they stopped and Kaiba's head dropped to rest on his shoulder, Joey still felt unsettled. It wasn't supposed to be like this, he thought as he stroked the brunette's hair, allowing himself the gentle gesture since he knew the brunette wouldn't stop him. Kaiba was supposed to be strong and assertive, not numbed by drugs. It didn't feel right to Joey.

It didn't feel right, and yet... He couldn't bring himself to pass up the opportunity to (finally) be on top. For once, he wouldn't be the one with a sore backside.

Joey left in the morning before Kaiba woke up, but he took with him the bag of pills he'd found in the bathroom.


	7. No Indiscretions

**Booty Call Rule #7: No indiscretions.**

If you can avoid having a booty call to begin with, that would be best. Vulnerability is weakness.

* * *

The first time Joey Wheeler and Seto Kaiba ever hooked up was at the after-party of a Duel Monsters Tournament in the UK.

Neither of them could quite recall how it had started, but they both knew where it had ended: in Kaiba's hotel room with the pair of naked and hungover teens sharing a bed.

In the morning, it was easy for them to see what had happened, though their alcohol consumption had caused something of a memory blackout for them both. Kaiba could hold his liquor better, so Joey's blackout was bigger.

The teen executive had been unwilling to discuss the night's events at all, refusing to acknowledge what had transpired. But this didn't sit well with Joey.

"So... last night was pretty crazy, huh?" Joey finally broke the silence as he finished fastening his belt round his narrow, bony body. He didn't plan on putting his shoes on, just carrying them to his own room, where he'd shower then go back to bed. His head was aching horribly.

"As far as I'm concerned, nothing happened," Kaiba retorted dryly.

"Yeah, right, okay." Joey's unconvincing response caused the brunette's crystal blue eyes to fixate on the blond in a stern glare.

"Don't get any funny ideas, Wheeler."

"That's impossible; I'm a pretty funny guy, y'know."

"The only funny thing about you is how you keep taking jobs that force you to wear a canine fur-suit."

"It was one time!" Joey protested, flustered. "Geez, can't ya give me a break?"

"No." But he said it with a slight smile of sarcastic amusement.

"And _this_ was a one-time thing, too! Don't _you_ go getting any funny ideas." Joey crossed his arms and jutted out his chin, ignoring the wave of nausea that suddenly swept over him. Kaiba's smile didn't change, except to take on a bit of a sadistic shade.

"Whatever you say, mutt."

"I swear to _god_ Kaiba, if you don't stop callin' me a dog-"

"But you _are_ a dog, Wheeler."

His tone was just too cruel, and Joey would have replied had he not felt bile rising in his throat.

"And I'll prove it. The next time I call, you'll come to your master like the mongrel you are."

"No I won't." Joey could feel his knees going weak, but there was no way that he'd show his post-party feebleness to Seto Kaiba, of all people.

"Yes, you will." Kaiba finally looked away from Joey, parting the curtains slightly to peer out at the grey sky. "Now get out of here."

Joey didn't need to be told twice.

After he closed the door, Seto smiled to himself.

"Good dog."


	8. No Money

**Booty Call Rule #8: No money.**

To offer payment for their favors is an exceptionally rude thing to do, and it implies that your partner is a whore. Do this, and they will be mad at you.

 _Very_ mad at you.

* * *

Joey was still resting on the bed, unwilling to aggravate his sore body by getting up just yet, when Seto stood and started to dress. Joey's eyes followed him around the room as he collected his clothes and shook out the wrinkles before tugging each article on one at a time. Standing there, fully dressed, necktie tightened just so, the CEO looked ready to leave, but he wasn't. He stopped by the desk.

When Kaiba took out his wallet, Joey immediately bristled and sat up.

"I don't need your money," the blond snapped before Kaiba could say a word.

"I was _only_ going to offer to cover the cost of travel," the brunette retorted, waving a crisp twenty dollar bill between his fingers. "You did have to come quite a ways to reach me here, after all."

This was their third time sleeping together after the London incident. The first time had been at a hotel in Domino, the second time had been in a neighboring town (Kaiba'd been there on business, or so he claimed), and now they were meeting at least the next county over, which meant that Joey'd had to take the train to get here. He also hadn't gone far enough to necessitate Mokuba travelling with him.

"Then next time, send a car for me." Joey turned up his nose in disdain for the brunette. "I'm not a whore; I don't need your money."

Kaiba didn't respond, but simply closed his wallet and chuckled darkly as he left the room.


	9. No Rape

**Booty Call Rule #9: No rape.**

The moment you lose consent is the moment when everything must cease.

Violate him once, and you lose his trust forever.

* * *

Joey slipped the thin plastic card into the reader on the doorknob and waited for the little lights to switch from red to green before turning the handle. He walked into the hotel room and closed the door behind himself, turning around as he did so that he could lock the door properly. He turned off the light before turning around, and the moment he did, he heard the subtle sound of a weight being removed from the mattress.

He'd barely taken his jacket off when Kaiba's hands had already found him, and Joey was swept up in the current of the brunette's lust. It was so easy to just let Kaiba have his way that Joey just relaxed and let himself be moved and undressed, following along as his mind wandered. When he was pushed down onto the bed, he expected Kaiba to be on top of him in the next moment, but he wasn't. He heard the sound of rustling fabric, and after a little bit of waiting, Joey sat up, confused.

"Kaiba?"

"You don't want this, Wheeler."

"I do—"

"No you don't. I can tell."

Joey didn't argue with him as Kaiba finished retying his tie and picked up his briefcase. At the door, he only said one thing.

"Sleep well, Joey."

The door closed, and Joey lay back on the bed with a sigh. He actually started to cry a little with relief, and he couldn't remember feeling more grateful to Kaiba than he did right now. Joey was just too exhausted to do much of anything right now, and Kaiba, Ra bless him, had seen that.

Not only had he seen it, but he'd been merciful enough to let Joey rest instead of having his way first.

Maybe he wasn't so heartless after all.


	10. No Blackmail

**Rule #10: No blackmail.**

The "booty and caller" relationship is built on mutual trust and attraction. There's at least an unspoken agreement to keep each other's private matters, private.

Breaking this trust jeopardizes the relationship, for the two parties become equals in bed, and when one threatens the other with the ultimatum of extortion or exposure, the perfect environment for a bloodbath has been created.

* * *

"Hey." Joey closed the bedroom door before slipping his shoes off, his gaze on the floor. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Almost two months," Kaiba replied coldly, his shadow moving into Joey's view as he approached.

Just as Joey was starting to straighten up, Kaiba grabbed him by the throat and shoved him back against the door.

"If you steal from me again, Wheeler, you won't get away with it. I _will_ press charges, and I _will_ punish you. Have I made myself clear?"

"Ha." Joey choked out a faint laugh, wearing a crooked grin. "I'm sure the tabloids would like to know the kinds of things I know about you."

Kaiba's eyes widened fractionally, the only warning Joey had before Kaiba slammed Joey's head into the door with enough force to make him grunt in pain.

"Don't you _dare_ threaten me, Joey Wheeler. I don't have to let you leave, you know, and I'm sure there are plenty of porn sites that'd pay good money for some kinky pictures of _you_." A vicious smirk, and he added, "And I'm sure Yugi and his dork patrol would love to see them too."

"You wouldn't," Joey choked out around Kaiba's grasp, looking shocked.

"I would, so don't push me. And don't"—he tightened his grasp momentarily, making Joey twitch and writhe—"steal from me ever again. Have I made myself _clear_?" He loosened his grip so that Joey was no longer suffocating, but he didn't let go. He wasn't ready to relinquish his power.

"I did it for your own good!" Joey protested hoarsely.

"Don't give me that crap." Kaiba's anger only increased. "You don't know what's good for me."

"But I know what's bad for you," Joey quipped—not a wise decision in his current position. Kaiba slammed the back of Joey's head into the door again before releasing him and turning away.

"Get out. Get out, and don't come back."

Joey had half a mind to do just that, but the other half of his mind was much more rebellious.

Hesitating before the door, Joey finally made his decision. He turned around and seized Kaiba's shoulder, forcing him to turn around so the blond could grab a fistful of brown hair and jerk him down into a fierce kiss.

They fucked, and it was the roughest hate-sex Joey could have imagined.

But it was still something, and it allowed Joey to stay close to Kaiba, for now.


	11. No Addictions

**Booty Call Rule #11: No addictions.**

Addictions make you vulnerable and easy to manipulate, and should be avoided on principle. They're also costly habits to maintain, although the cost isn't always monetary.

Sometimes, you end up paying in a currency far more valuable than any cash or coin could ever be.

* * *

When Kaiba woke up, his world was grey and his mouth was dry. He felt stiff as he experimentally stretched his arms, then squirmed to the edge of his bed.

One foot on the floor, almost two, and he collapsed, horrified by the tremendous soreness in his backside. Cursing under his breath, he crawled across the floor to a loose pile of clothes and dressed himself—managing to do so without standing.

He lay on his back and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, blinking through hazy images of last night. They'd fucked on the edge of the cliff, and Seto had laughed. The minutes stretched into an hour of semi-conscious musing before he stirred again.

Kaiba managed to stand with all the knock-kneed ungainliness of a newborn fawn, but it was enough to get him to the bathroom.

Shower first.

He could still feel Joey's hands on him as if he were touching him even now, fingers trailing up his spine, nails digging into his shoulder, teeth nibbling at his neck. The sooner he could shake the feeling, the better.

At the end of his shower, he was more steady on his feet, but already aching for escape. He was barely dressed, hair still dripping wet, when he opened the drawer and reached for a certain plastic bag.

His hand closed on empty air, sending a shock of fear through him. He checked every drawer, every cabinet, every crevice in the bathroom, in the bedroom, before sinking to the floor in the corner of the room as realization sank in.

Damned thieving mutt.

A short burst of fury possessed him to punch the wall, his hand going through the old drywall with a puff of dust. He cursed and coughed as he retracted his hand, cradling the scraped knuckles against his chest as he fumed.

The anger turned to shame too quickly for his taste.

That sense of panic when he'd realized the drugs were gone—it concerned him. His goal wasn't to become an addict—quite the opposite, actually. He thought he was strong enough to use without getting hooked.

Maybe he wasn't.

He forced himself to stand on unsteady legs, crossed the room, and threw open the window.

It took a few more tries than usual for him to light his cigarette, but once it was lit, he leaned against the wall and let the smoke drift out the window, his hand shaking slightly.

Withdrawal's a bitch.

* * *

 **A/N: But Kaiba, why you do drugs? I guess you'll have to keep reading to find out! ;)**


	12. No Miscellany

**Booty Call Rule #12: No miscellany.**

If you're not fucking, you're doing it wrong.

* * *

"Damn, you're tense," Joey muttered under his breath as he pushed the heels of his hands into Kaiba's back, just beneath his shoulder blades.

"I know," Kaiba growled—the sound could _only_ be described as a growl—through clenched teeth.

"I mean, I knew you were stressed, but I didn't know it was _this_ bad."

 _Shut up, Joey._

The blond was mercifully silent as he added more high-quality massage lotion to his hands from the bottle Kaiba had supplied (the scent was chamomile, but the bottle's label was all in French and Joey didn't drink enough herbal tea to be capable of identifying the faintly floral scent). Joey's hands, now coldly slick with lotion, kneaded into the brunette's back with firm force, increasing in pressure as he found one of the many knots in the other's back, attempting to relieve the pressure. Joey applied his thumb to the spot, extracting a tiny, smothered grunt from Kaiba, who instinctively tensed up.

" _Relax_ , Kaiba."

"I am relaxed, Joey," he growled back.

"Damn. I knew you had issues," the blond muttered, "But if you think _this_ is relaxed, then you need more help than I can give you."

Kaiba didn't answer, because he knew Joey was right. Still, he let Joey do what he could. He preferred the blond touch him rather than anyone else.

And when Joey leaned down to kiss the curve of his shoulder, he didn't tell him to stop.


	13. No Interventions

**Booty Call Rule #13: No interventions.**

If you care enough about him to confront him about his bad habit, _you're still doing it wrong_.

No, seriously. You suck at this. Both of you.

I'm going to Hot Topic to get some new pants.

* * *

"Why did you do it?"

"That's none of your business."

"Why, Kaiba?" Joey wasn't going to let the matter rest without getting an answer. He didn't care that Kaiba refused to even face him, preferring to stand before his dresser, hands on the corners of the flat surface leaning forward against it, back curved in a tired slouch.

"Damnit, Joey, why the _fuck_ do you care?!" The words burst out of Kaiba before he could stop them. Joey'd never heard him raise his voice like that before (not in a conversation, that is), and he started at the sudden volume and ferocity. "Just..." Kaiba had to take a deep breath and let it out before he let himself respond, his head hanging low and his face was hidden. "Let it be, Wheeler, and go home."

"You know I can't do that." Joey took a few steps closer. "I want to help you."

"I don't need _help_ , I don't need _friends_ , and I especially don't need _you_."

Joey steeled himself, refusing to be deterred by the brunette's harsh words.

"That's somethin' I've neveh undahstood about you, Kaiba. Why do ya always push people away? Yugi only eveh wanted to be your friend—"

" _Yugi_ "—Kaiba snarled his name with animosity—"can go to hell."

Joey almost lost his temper at that, but bit his tongue until the rush of rage had ebbed. Kaiba was _trying_ to get him angry so that he'd do something stupid, so that he'd leave.

Leave Kaiba alone, to his own devices.

Leave Kaiba alone.

Leave Kaiba.

"I've seen too many people destroy their lives with drugs to let you do the same. I respect you too much."

Kaiba's hands clenched the edge of the dark walnut of his dresser, struggling for control. "I'm not going to let you stand there and tell me what to do," he growled, voice low and slow. "This is your last warning, Wheeler: get out _now_ , or I'll have you forcibly removed from my property." He should have done that to begin with, since Joey had appeared at his house uninvited and without warning. How obnoxious. How entitled. Tonight, the mutt was crossing too many lines. He needed to be put back in his proper place.

"I thought someone as smart as you would know better than to fuck around with such dangerous stuff," Joey continued loudly, striding closer, despite the danger. "I never would have picked you for an addict, not in a hundred years."

"I'm not an addict," Kaiba grumbled under his breath, now aware that Joey's mind had been stubbornly made up and that nothing would convince him otherwise. "I'm a user."

"Yeah, big difference," Joey scoffed, now standing quite close to Kaiba's rigged form. The blond was just as pissed off as Kaiba himself. "I can't believe someone like _you_ would even consider getting high when—"

Joey stopped short and fell silent, making Kaiba turn his head just enough to look over his shoulder and watch realization dawning on the blond's face, as if he'd just had his first epiphany.

"You don't _want_ to be in control, do you?" Joey murmured softly, expression relaxed, but puzzled. "You're usually such a control freak about everything, but… you don't really want to be in charge. Am I right?"

"Why you little—" Kaiba never got a chance to finish, for as he turned, face twisted with anger, he raised a fist, ready to attack. Then his face contorted with something else.

Pain.

His arm dropped, his fist uncurled as he clenched at his chest. As he fell to his knees, Joey rushed to his side, all panic and concern.

"What's wrong? What's happening? Are you dying? Oh shit, please don't tell me you're dying." The frantic slew of sentences fell from Joey's lips without a breath in between.

"I'm not _dying_ , you idiot," Kaiba hissed. "It's just stress—don't touch it!" He whacked Joey's hand away, but it took more effort than usual.

"Stress?" Joey blinked at him incredulously. "You think this is caused by stress? How stressed _are_ you, Kaiba?"

"Have you never stopped to consider…" Kaiba's breathing was labored, and his words trailed off as he closed his eyes. Joey cautiously put his hands on Kaiba's shoulders and leaned him back against the front of his dresser. He hesitated, then started unbuttoning the top buttons of Kaiba's shirt, needing to see the brunette's heaving chest with his own eyes to know that it wasn't physically injured. He wasn't, but things were starting to make even more sense in Joey's mind.

Kaiba was still cringing with his eyes closed, so he didn't know that Joey was going to touch him until he felt cold skin pressing to the sharp pain in the center of his chest. A sharp intake of breath was the only noticeable reaction that Kaiba had, but since he didn't protest, Joey left his hand there, counting each _ba-dum_ of Kaiba's strong heart as they crouched together on the floor.

Neither of them really knew how long they sat like that, the sounds of shaky breathing and beating hearts filling the otherwise silent room.

"Is there anything I can do to help you?" He whispered because it felt wrong to speak when the room was so quiet and the air was crackling with tension.

"You _were_ a help—before you decided to get _involved_." The word carried some scorn, but Joey'd received worse from him in the past.

"Ah." Joey could understand now. Sex was a means of stress relief (whether or not it was a healthy coping mechanism was another question entirely), especially when it wasn't accompanied by a stressful relationship. "So that's why..."

"That's why I self-medicated, and if you had any idea how many people and projects I'm responsible for, you'd understand." Those brilliant blue eyes opened, and Joey felt paralyzed by their vibrancy.

"I guess... you always seemed to handle it so well, I never thought..."

"That's the problem: you don't think."

He couldn't argue with that.

"What did you end up doing with the pills you took?"

"I... sold them."

He could feel Seto's weak laugh through his chest.

"A jail-able offense; why am I not surprised?"

"I needed the money, okay?" Joey was quick to defend himself, even though he knew better. "I know that's not something you understand, but I couldn't keep them around the house with... well, with my dad being the way he is." His voice trailed off, ashamed to admit that his father was an addict, but Kaiba's response surprised Joey.

"We do what we need to do," Kaiba replied dismissively with a wave of his hand, justifying both their actions. "That's life: you get by however you can."

"But drugs aren't the answer to your problem, Seto."

"I don't need _you_ telling me—"

"There has to be a better way."

Joey's brown eyes sparkled with slivers of gold, the blond's face mere inches from Kaiba's.

"You can start by getting me the bottle of advil from the bathroom."

* * *

 **A/N: The line, "I'm going to Hot Topic to get some new pants," is from the end of the video called "Leather Shoes" by LucariosKlaw, a response to "Leather Pants" by LittleKuriboh that predates "Pharaoh's Throne." The line just kind of came to me when I was writing it... If you knew what it was from, then kudos to you, my friend! :D**

 **It probably popped into my head because at the end of "Leather Shoes," Yami Yugi is just so done with all of their shenanigans that he can't even handle them any more, so he's like, "Screw you guys, I'm outta here!" And the narrator articulating the rules has basically reached that point now.**

 **Oh, and talyak... You finally got your long chapter. ;D**


	14. No Sleepovers

**Booty Call Rule #14: No sleepovers.**

Whenever possible, hook up at a hotel. Don't let your lives overlap, don't let your clothes get mixed up, don't leave your things at his place.

If he absolutely _must_ come over to your house, don't let him fall asleep there. Make him leave, even if it means dumping his sleeping body in the back of your limo and telling your driver to dump him on his own doorstep.

Because if you make the mistake of letting him stay the night, sleeping in the same bed, and waking up in each others' arms, you've let yourself go too far.

* * *

The pale sunlight filtered gently between the tiny crack between the curtains, casting a soft light on the two teens laying side by side in an enormous bed, wrapped around each other like lovers.

Joey was the first one to wake up.

He opened his eyes, blinked away the blur of sleep, and looked down at the man sleeping in his embrace.

Seto Kaiba.

He looked so peaceful, so calm in sleep, that he almost looked happy. There was something soft in his expression, something that Joey'd never seen there before. The blond was too warm, too comfortable like this to move away, but that didn't explain why he let his lips graze Seto's cheek.

Sapphire eyes opened just as Joey was lifting his face away, but the moment their eyes locked, the blond froze. After a few moments of simple staring, Kaiba lifted a hand to cup Joey's cheek, then brought his face down again for a proper kiss. Joey kissed him eagerly, even as the brunette rolled them over so that he had the high ground. Kaiba pushed Joey's bangs out of his face with a gentle hand as the blond pulled the sheets down more closely around them for warmth.

Then Kaiba did something Joey'd never seen before.

Seto Kaiba smiled.

A true, honest-to-goodness smile, born of untainted happiness.

So, Joey smiled back.

They kissed again, and again, and more times than they could count. When Kaiba's hands stroked his side, Joey's sensitive skin was tickled, and he laughed.

So, Seto laughed too.

It was as if they'd both been freed from all restraints, and they could allow themselves to engage in all the little affectionate things they could never do before, like making eye contact while they made love, calling each other by their first names, sharing an unnecessary number of kisses simply because they wanted to. The way Joey butted his nose into Seto's cheek and put his arms around his neck to keep him close. The way that, as he got close, Seto stopped and pulled Joey's arms away so that he could interlock their fingers with both hands, palms pressed together as Kaiba moved between Joey's legs. The way that the brunette kissed the underside of his partner's jaw and the curve of his collarbone as Joey went limp in the afterglow.

They couldn't seem to break apart. Even when they were done, they stayed close, connected. Kaiba held Joey to his chest and rolled onto his back, bringing the blond with him. Joey lifted his head and smiled sleepily at the brunette, speaking their first real words of the morning.

"Good morning."

"Good morning to you too. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, you?"

"Quite well."

Joey relaxed again and let his head loll against Seto's shoulder. Kaiba started stroking Joey's hair, feeling the strands flow soft and smooth between his fingers.

"You matter to me, Joey, but I never meant for that to happen." His admission was honest and blunt, but not meant to insult.

"Yeah, I'm kinda surprised at myself for having a soft spot for such a nerd like you."

Of all the things to call him, nerd was not high on the list of Kaiba's expectations, and it prompted another laugh from him.

"I mean, you're a real dork, you know," Joey teased, smile broad as the brunette continued to laugh, the sound echoing and vibrating through his broad chest. "A downright dweeb, if ya ask me, and I _know_ you do your best to hide it, but honestly, Kaiba, ya stick out like a sore thumb that way."


End file.
